♚ Hermés world ♚

im emo again.
is been awhile i didnt come here and blog. well, there's too many things happen in my life. honestly. im not happy with what i have now. previous, i am happy with what i have. but then, because there's someone else i can depend on. althou' he is my friend only. not bf. but at least he is there for me. now, no matter how, when, where, what, he also wont be there for me ad. why?! because, he said his phone got problem. his house dont have connection. well do you seriously think so?! if that so. too bad lo. we can be friends only. as in worst than hi-bye friend. we will lost contact and forget each other. my mom said that he dont want me because im fat. seriously, this really make my heart break into million pieces. what you want me to do? diet?! you know i hate exercise! i love food!!! what you want me to do?! i wish what i think is not happening as in he found another girl and forgot about me. aiks. hopefully............

H.J.

whats wrong with us?
could you tell me?
all i do is assuming which is torturing me..
you dont even tell me whats wrong..
all you said is tonight msn, i'll tell you everything
when i reach home, open msn~
waited for you..
but then, you didnt appear..
message you ad.. you still didnt even give me a call..
what happen to you?
found someone better than me?
or because of the things that you do really make me sad and because of that you left me?
i dont want you to left me..
im the one who need to say the broke up!
not you!

just now H.J. @ BIBI called me..
i damn sad..
some people robbed him la..
i damn piss off with those people la..
now, he got wounds ad..
when we meet up, sure i very sad wan lo..
haih~

im IN LOVE!!!!
yes~ i am in love~~`
i dont know whats wrong with me..
he suddenly appear my life and make me happy and sad la..
sobs~~

today, he H.J. very fierce o~
i know he care for me lo..
cause i didnt sleep whole day ma..
but still he damn fierce la..
damn scary...

then, K.K, a person who likes me and he is my high school senior..
he called me back..
but too bad.. he is in my black list..( why he in my black list?
because when i need someone to talk to, he dont treat me well, i know that time he is very down..
but still he shouldnt do that lo.. summore, he didnt contact me since then till now.. more than 1 week.. isnt that something wrong?! he said that he just back from SINGAPORE... but still.. i dont know... )
i dont know what should i do...
haih~~

and then, I.V. he, contact me and ask for my house address wor..
i also dunno what he is up to~
i dont really wanna give him the address wan lo..
but aiya.. nvm la.. let see what he wanna send me then..
( i heard from my friend that I.V. is a flirt guy

today just a weird day for me..
hopefully nothing happens ya~
oh ya!
i this sat, going to meet up with H.J...
hope everything gonna be fine~

happy new year!!
didnt update quite some time~
i was so busy with my part time works man!
what i can say
is just not easy and my money is on the way coming towards with me lo~
i wan shopping la
well hope everything will be better than 2007~

and of course, wish everyone will be ok too
stop with the crap and go take something to enjoy!
=p
happy new year everyone

happy belated Xmas everyone!
im so tired..
exhausted man!!
working at SASA really make me damn tired..
the leg is the most tired wan lo... pity my legs la..

today is my holiday...
but then i must start memorize the things for the next coming job..

how was my Xmas?
so so ler..
working ma...
cannot say didnt have fun also la...

haih..
dunno what to say
i just feel like eating la..
but my dad is around..
i cant eat le...
charm~

tomorrow is the supplementary exam,
have i prepared?
no i havent..
i dont even know what i wanna read...
once i saw those papers..
all i think is SLEEP~
LOL~
the laziness..

after tomorrow, im going to enjoy this holidays!
going to singapore..
then, once im back to singapore, i'll gonna look for part time jobs!
i must work ad~
i need money...
there's so many things i wanna buy!
for my laptop, myself even my friend's presents...

christmas is coming...
is everyone available to celebrate with me?
aww~
i dont know...
well, i wish everyone have somebody to accompany with~
^w^

please let me pass this exam..
no more this kind of marks ad.
i dont want to fail!

p/s,my laptop damn LAG because of it,
i dont wanna write so long!

tomorrow, im going out with my friend..
woohoo~~
you never know how happy i am
really long time didnt go out
maybe because of that,
i become more emo than before..
well, dont give a damn..
i wanna live my life to the fullest!!!
LOL~!!!

my friend said something very nice to me just now..
thank you justin!

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明天，我要和朋友逛街咯！
哇塞！
你不知道我又多开心！
真的很就没出去了！
可能应为这样，
我的心情这么烂吧！
不管了！
我要活得很快乐，活得有声有色！
哈哈哈！！

刚刚，我朋友说了一些话。。
听了真的很开心！
谢谢你，justin..

the one who disappeared, appears again..
A.S. asking meet up again..
but then, look at it...
he disappear again..

sad.. really sad...
i dont know why, im giving chances again and again to him
and he again and again disappointing me..

today, my mood not really good at all.. ( when is my mood getting better? )
envy my friends' who have BF..
envy those people have so many things to do
envy of those people who have friends to accompany with..

my life is so sad...
im sad...
what in the world i should do?
heart breaks into million pieces..

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失踪的人又出现了。。
A.S. 又叫我出去。。
但是，你看。。
他又不见了。。

伤心。。真的很伤心。。
我不知道为什么，我给了一次又一次的机会。。
他就一次又一次的让我觉得很绝望。。

今天，我的心情不是很好。。 （我的心情几时会好呢？）
好羡慕我朋友们有男朋友。。
好羡慕那些有很多节目的朋友。。
好羡慕那些有朋友陪伴的。。

我的人生过得很悲伤。。
我好伤心。。
我不知道我在这世界能做什么？
心碎了。。

whats wrong with me?
I've said to myself!! im not going to be EMO anymore!
but then
why?
im still EMO-ing about everything..
exams, love and even with friendship..
something wrong with my life..
is the god felt that im too lucky to be a happy child?

i dont know~
all i know is the exam is coming soon
and i should start preparing those answers..
after that, i should prepare stuff to go singapore..
for a vacation with my mom and others..
hope everything going well..

i hate my life being this bored
hate my life being this lonely..
so pathetic..
hope someone will be a savior and save me..

this blog is meant to be no man island
but then, sometimes i just wish people will read and understand my feeling..
sigh, im just a girl who unable to grown up..

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我怎么啦？
我和自己说过，我不能再心情低落了！
但是，为什么？
我还是心情很低落。。
不管是想到爱情，友情，还是考试。。
我的人是真的有点不对劲！
是不是上天觉得我活得太开心了呢？

我不知道。。
我只知道考试要到了。。
我需要准备答案。。。
过后呢，就去新加坡玩。。
希望没事发生。。

我真的很讨厌我的生活过得那么的闷~
讨厌它这么的寂寞~
好希望有人可以来救我~

这个blog,是没人会来读的。。
但是，我还满希望有人来看看，了解我的心情。。
唉，我是长不大的女孩啊！~

a curse is following me since when I'm a kid i guess..
what curse?
unable to find someone who he will love me the way i do love him..
understand?
for example,
i like a guy, and we getting closer and closer..
but he doesnt have any feelings with me..
understand ad?!
well, this curse really be with me i dont know for how long..
i really hope this curse can get out of my life..
damn hate it...

how many times i have to feel this?
how many times i have to face it?
how many times you only will let me go?
how many times?
how many?

lost hope in love..
lost hope..

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有个诅咒跟随我很久了！
应该是我小时候吧。。
什么诅咒？
一个永远找不到真爱的诅咒。。

我好讨厌这个诅咒。。
希望他快点离开我！
不知道我要感觉多久。。
不知道我要面对他多久。。
不知道它几时放开我。。
多少次？
几时？

对爱感到绝望了。。
没有希望了。。

心情又低落了~
这个心情都不知道要维持多久~
真的不想再想了~
但是，我本人也控制不到~

眼睛都快要流出珠珠泪~
每次都想到他，我就真的很伤心。。

这个诅咒，好像是不能破解的~
真的不想要再次放生这样的事了！
我不想要这样~
难道，我一世都这么过日子吗？
我不想要~
我要好好过日子~
这是我的梦想！

每一次，我做好的计划都会有不好的事发生~
难道人生就是这样的吗？
就是一直的失望，绝望吗？

心情怎么过也不会好~
觉得很对不起自己~
我能做什么来弄自己高兴呢？
唉，天天过这种日子~
人都会死~

sigh~
another emo post...
well got good and bad news
good news is i bought lots of stuff and A.S. did message me and explain what happen la..
well, i think is ok la.. ^w^
talk back with him..
but not really talk a lot..
i don't know why
he seems don't like to reply people's message..
should i don't reply his message?!

bad news is..
my results ok la..
but then..
sigh got 1 subject..
almost pass a..
damn heart break..
i never know i will fail that subject..
sobs..
tomorrow going to department and ask for remark..
hopefully everything go well..

p/s i got supplementary exam, but i still hope i don't have to get the exam again..

heart breaks..
i really do..
this blog is very private and confidential..
i dont think any of my friend will read them..
^w^
any thing, i'll update here..
whats wrong with me lately?
my heart very pain~
my head going to burst..
im very sad~
seriously, i do~

A.S. asked me out for meet up~
i've said ok~
nothing happen~
is not like i want things happen..
i wish it will
but nothing happen~
the thing is~ he didnt say anything since yesterday~
why?

is he fooling me around?
sobs~
why?
seriously, i start to like him ad..
but why he wanna do this to me?
heart breaks~
once i think about it, my heart started to cry..

yesterday,
thank god, S. accompany me..
he really a great friend..
he really make my day~
but once i think back...
i think yesterday we shouldnt hug like that..
it seems like only couples will do that..
am i regret?
i dont know..
all i want is A.S. to like me...
i dont care how much i need to take!
i dont care!!!
i want him!

new to here..
having exams..
coming here to explore more asap!! ^w^